You want to see something kinky?
That, my friends, is a binding attachment for an industrial sewing machine. You see there a very handy diagramatic illustration of what it does.
Yes, you remember all the hours you've whiled away making bias tape, ironing the bias tape, lining up and pinning the bias tape then sewing on this bias tape binding to something, only to find out that it's not lined up between the top and bottom? Hours you no doubt could have used catching up on Real Housewives of Atlanta trying to decide if you love NeNe Leakes or hate NeNe Leakes. I'm sorry, but those hours are gone. But waste no more!
Or so I thought.
I bought a version of this attachment to bind the edge of the shearling/ sweatshirt baby quilts, and in my test samples, I finally got it to work perfectly, as proven in Exhibit A:
Your eyes are not playing tricks on you- that is perfect. Bias tape made from t-shirt (a continuous length for the whole binding cut strategically from a single t-shirt), and a layer of sweatshirt and shearling. You feed them in together and the attachment folds, encases and stitches it top and bottom. That is a truth and not a lie.
So I finally put a finished quilt up for slaughter, all scared and holding my breath as I tried to feed it through my machine.
Demons. After having to call my nanny out to the studio to hold the tape as it fed, while I held 'fore and aft' and surgically manipulated the tape with tweezers every time it jammed, we got all the way around. Triumphantly, I said "We made it! Yes! This looks pretty j'awesome!"
Then we looked closely and realized it is all gobbled and ripped and ruined.
But now it's ours which is a sort of nice downside to ruining a for-sale item. "Seconds", they're called. So back to the drawing board.
I emotionally recalibrated from my high then low extremes by making a good old-fashioned piece of do-nothing art. (And taking half of a Diazapam. But that's really more for the kids.)