Inside the Twisted Mind of a First Quilt

The number of ways in which this baby quilt is trying to defy me is infinite.  This quilt is thinking, "Really?  A knit quilt made of a million thin strips of different knits, each cut without regard for the grain of the fabric?  You really think you're going to get away with this, rookie?"

Well you know what?  I challenge you and your bastardized geometries to a duel.  Sure, little quilt, you may have won the first round, all bowed and wobbly after the piecing.  I concede you this.  But how do you like being soaked and then ruthlessly pinned to a huge fat board of foam- having your every corner forced into a right angle by 180 pins so that when you dry you will be painfully straighter than you were?  Scared now?  Maybe you didn't know that I spent most nights before final critique in art school frantically brutalizing a piece of canvas onto a stretcher and sizing it with rabbit skin glue.  Did you ever think of that?  That just maybe your headstrong fibers and, may I say somewhat predictable plan to mess with me might just backfire?  That I know how to force fabric to dry the way I want it to dry?!  HUH?!   DO YOU FREAKING HEAR ME, WET QUILT?  I WILL STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY 'BASTE'!


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