Showing Love Through Material Goods

It's best if you just buy someone something in order to show them that you care.  If you do anything weird like give them an unsolicited back rub, or offer to take the dog out when its really their turn because they are suffering from an upper respiratory infection, it will all just lead to a monstrous pattern of quid pro quo behaviors and more than likely destroy your relationship.

Plus, when you give someone a gift, they feel obligated to give one back (yay!)  at an unspecified future celebration focused on you, or your offspring.  For the sake of the future, make it easy, make it clear, buy them something first.

Har, just kidding.  But, if you should find yourself in a position that requires you to gift someone, well then make it something nice.   For example, you could buy these bibs I made, for sale at Green Genes.  By doing this, you also serve a greater good.  You support an uber-sustainable enterprise and funnel money to an educated white lady who already has enough of it  a struggling female entrepeneur such as myself. 

Better yet, you provide a stylish alternative to those whack terry bibs that say painfully obvious things like, "Mommy Loves You".  Maybe my next series of bibs will say, "Question yourself, baby.  Does Mommy love you enough to keep feeding you minutely diced health foods in a panoply of colors and textures, just to have you throw them at the dog so you can watch her snort and yipe in the air in an effort to consume all of our six hundred dollars of this week's organic produce?  Does she?"

Anyway, what do you think of my bibs?


  1. I love them! I'm in possession of a hideous "I love my Mommy" bib that I cringe at every time I see...yours are great!

  2. They're art! When will they be available in SF? I'm anxiously awaiting the next line as well. Oh, the amount of carefully considered, cooked and diced food that ends up composted.

  3. When are you going to bite the bullet and work more representationally? Abstraction is for the timid.