You'd be excited by these, wouldn't you?:
Before we start, here are the Four Horses of the Sweaterpants Apocolypse:
1. Pin, pin, pin. It it isn't pinning right, it isn't going to sew right.
2. It's sweater you're sewing, so go slowwww. If you've got a ballpoint needle, you should use it.
3. Use a long stitch so your waist will have give. By long, I don't mean basting stitch of course, but like, longer than average.
4. Do not fear. Sweater pants can smell fear. If they smell your fear, you will make a Thneed.
(Also: for your entertainment, I will occasionally use my expansive knowledge of rap, hip-hop and lite rock lyrics to guide you along through this journey. You are welcome.)
Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin.-- House of Pain
I like big butts(eams) and I cannot lie-- Sir-Mix-A-Lot
Tuuurn arouunnd...-- Bonnie Tyler
Cut bitch, camera off, real shit blastin'-- Eve
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it-- Missy Elliott
Baby what a big surprise. Right before my very eyes-- Chicago
Pin that crotch seam one mooore time. Once is never enough-- Captain and Tenille
Knowin'...that you LIED, straight-faced, while I cried-- Rod Stewart
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down- Oh nooooo-- Bel Biv Devoe
I got nothing here, folks, but a sudden revelation: what does it mean that our American songbook is so anemic when it comes to turtlenecks. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
Back, front back, fr-front back, ft-front back, side-to-side-- T.I.
I got it mastered man, in the hood I'm like plastic, man. Stretch. -- 50 Cent
Did you ever know that you're my heeeeero?-- Bette Midler
Bring it, cute face.