Cabin Fever Defined

I interrupt this message about better mothering and tedious self-improvement to announce this:

I have lost my mind.  I don't know,  I mean between the cabin fever and trying to make sense of the Woody Allen saga, I am beginning to think I have lost my grip on reality.

I demo'd my first floor bathroom.

I was tired of seeing those yellowed marble tiles every time I pee.  That, combined with a few ill-timed session on the elliptical at the gym- when I was forced to watch home improvement shows on HGTV that show lots of inexperienced people tearing apart their homes, I got the idea that if I wear a tight henley and look cute doing it, I might be able to swing this.

That's fine, you say- she must have some experience doing this, right?  Otherwise she would never demo a whole room without having proven skills that she can put it back together properly, right?

Here is my resume for professional renovation:

I patched drywall in the basement once.

DONT DO IIIITTTT!!!!  You say.

Too late.  My bad.

One day and an 8lb sledgehammer...

And I'm up to my 'nads in plaster and lathe...

But WAIT, before you call my mom and tell her maybe she should talk to me-  see here!  I am a very mechanically inclined woman and I truly believe construction is 100% common sense.  (Though I did have to call a sturdy Mexican guy to lift the 200 lb. tub out of its spot).  Watch me as I chronicle my choices and tell me if you're concerned at any time that I will fall through the floor to the basement.

How do I turn around a 130 yr. old door?  Why, I remove the catch latch casing and open it up.  I am able to flip the mechanism inside the box, and replace it into the door.  Naturally, undoing the brass doorknob reveals that the set pins in it need to be replaced, so I get longer ones with an alan head.  Then I chisel new hinge placements and pound the hinge pin back in, upside down of course.   Isn't that what you would do?

I'm sorry.  That sounded braggy.  But before you judge me, understand that four days ago I was a person who had never attempted such things, and today I am woman who can repair floor joists and replace the missing subfloor in an old Victorian.  So grant me that one?

Stay tuned for the next episode, "Oh SHIT.  Bee's Nest! RUUUUUUNN!"

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