Becoming Wealthy Through the Sale of Miniature Scarves; A Guide

Okay, I probably won't ever become wealthy, but some peoples love the baby cravats, (an example of here):

and now they've gone commercial.  They are for sale in several varieties at the amazing store in Chicago, Green Genes, which is a eco-friendly boutique for childrens and bebbes.  They have so many awesome things and I am quite proud to have my wares theres.  It is on Clark Street in Chicago.

GO.

Damn You, Sma Grodorna!

We celebrated Josephine's first Christmas with family in Oakland, CA.  The weather was great, the kids were great, fun was had.  My brother-out-law is Anders, and he is from Sweden.  And from Sweden, he brought us a traditional children's Christmas song about a frog with no tail and no ears.  We sang the song, as is the custom, while dancing around a Christmas tree holding hands and a paper with a translation designed to soften our sharp English interpretation of the Swedish words. 

Well, that business wasn't so pretty.  An English speaking person can slaughter some Swedish words right thoroughly I tell you, especially while they're trying to hold a paper and dance in a circle.  I will admit that while I felt pretty foolish, it was so fun to watch the kids enjoy themselves and to laugh at ourselves mangling the lyrics.  Now I cannot- I CANNOT- get 'Sma Grodorna' out of my head.  Koo Ack Ack, Koo Ack Ack! 

One of the highlights was time I spent with Julie's niece ('our' niece?  yes, 'our' niece, I declare), Caroline.  She is seven and was quite attached to me for the four days we were there.  Okay, maybe more the baby, but the baby was attached to me so I reaped the benefit of Caroline's company.  She is truly remarkable.  Here we are on a hike, discussing many important things:

Now we're back to Chicagio and I hit the sewing machine to make some homemade gift wrap from scraps for a special little present.  I might have to do this from now on:

Now I have to decide on a New Year's Resolution.  I make them.  I keep them.  It's true.

First Gingerbread House

Here it is.  The Solar Family gingerbread house.  After almost two weeks of plotting and planning, and five rounds of trying to make sugar glass, we finally finished.  The Solar Chalet, as it is properly called, is a residential home for small gingerpeople crafted in a bastardized 80's/ 90's contemporary style.

Some important features are of course the solar panels, recycling bags (those ARE candy, people), and a mailbox feturing edible paper and ink.

The glass wall separating the indoors from outside is milky, yes.  But I know why now!  I learned in my five batches that you need to bring many small miracles into alignment to make clear candy glass.  Next year, look out! It's going to be a Phillip Johnson Glass House just to show off. 

For now, we will settle for our humble family chalet complete with gum-bricked chimney and cotton candy smoke.

Groovy Sweater One-Piece

Remember this ladies sweater?  The one left at Village Discount Outlet by...let's call her Becca.

It has found new life, and here's how:

1.  Cut off bottom half of sweater arms.
2.  Trim off material from what remains of your arms, and continue trimming down the side of sweater (the shape that looks like a '7' in the picture above).
3.  Cut out shape between legs.  Line that edge with twill tape on alternate sides and attach snaps.
4.  Sew outside edge- along bottom of arm and down the side of the suit.
5.  Hem sleeve cuffs.
6.  Admire how willing your child is to wear such a ridiculous, but adorbs outfit.

All Is Not Coming Up Roses, Ya Know.

I finished sewing something tonight that is so rad,  I almost ran downstairs to Bloom Yoga and took an advanced class so I could quickly learn to bend over far enough to kiss my own arse.

I know.  So I decided I should do something more humbling and act like a sane, balanced person.  For the benefit of my child.  I'm going to show you my last four failed hats, their titles, and tell you why they didn't work out.  Thank you to patient Josephine Anaheed for the use of her head:

The "But It's Only a Flesh Wound!":  The ONLY thing I had to do to make this hat right was line up the damn stripes.  Did I line up the stripes?  No.  I was too busy thinking about how awesome this striped hat was going to be.

The "Vikings Fan":  As is the case with many hats, this one ran too short and the poor girl's ears pop out after ten seconds.  It is otherwise fine despite the fact that it is accidentally the Minnesota Vikings colors.

The "Ambiguously Religious Ceremonial Hat":  This material, a well worn sweatshirt, was far too stiff for this cut of hat, and so it just sticks up like a Pope's hat.  Which is fine because old ladies treat red-headed babies like they are the Pope.

The "Oh Sh*t! Did I just Accidentally Cut This Hat Right After I Made It, Because My Sewing Table Is A Mess? Hat":  Everything about this hat was fine, then I cut a triangle out of the folded brim whilst cutting something that was laying on top of this hat.  I am idiots.

Update on Trapdoor Butt Christmas Pants

Couldn't get a good picture of the baby in these pants because she is too enamored with the rolling over process to sit still long enough.

Isabelle from Dos Family

This lady Isabelle, she is amazing. The Dos Family blog is amazing, and look at this down baby snuggler she made from an old coat! Are you kidding me, Isabelle from Dos Family? I am so into you and your stylings!

Josephine's First Christmas, aka "Bad Jew"

We really should have a Christmas tree AND a menorah, so as to give a nod to my wife Julie's heritage, but I guess that side of her went to Matzo Ball heaven when her eccentric and from I hear, awesome, grandma Solar passed away. But it was a huge rally for us to get this Christmas going as well as we have, so I shant berate our efforts.

To wit, we have a fully decorated Christmas tree. (See Exhibit A). We have purchased Christmas presents (Exhibit B), which, in the purchasing of, I would like the record to show, I actually respected the limit Julie and I set. She did not, and promptly explained to our daughter that she went way over the limit on Phinny's gifts because she loves her more. We have designed, if not actually constructed, a gingerbread house. Photographs forthcoming as Exhibit C, and finally, I made Josephine some Christmas pants (Exhibit D).

They are inspired by authentic union suits, and by Chinese baby pants. They feature a trap door in the seat, for the easy access to butt cheeks without exposing your baby's rear to the elements when they ummm, need to....uh...yes, you know.

These pants were a perfectly respectable cableknit sweater before and would be embarrassed to know that they have been re-incarnated into a pair of baby trousers with a easy-access trap door to the booty (which is in this case actually non-operational). I will later post pictures of them on the child. For now:





Okay, so she got ONE present early! It's a ride-on plush snail named Stanley. You expected me to wait? Be realistic.

Perfection

I am afraid of an obsession that threatens to overtake me. It looms heavy, ever encroaching, begging me to add its pursuit to my already overburdened parcels of creative time. It will happen. I know it will. I can't stop it. I just aim to hold it off for just a little while longer. Until we get a bigger house maybe?

It is quilting. I am shocked to see that come out in letters. I might quilt. Certain beautiful things hover around me and force me to think of quilts I want to make. And these things won't go away. Just what I need, one more thing that makes me sit on my ass all day. Soon I can forget about ever having that spinal fusion surgery I'll need in the future because my vertebrae will be soldered together from shear sedentary disuse. But I bet I could make a crazy good quilt.

Currently I am desperately in love with the woven work of Anni Albers. I have long been in love with her husband's work, which I regard as perhaps the most perfect of painting. And they both make me drool to quilt. Kind of random, I know.

Anyway, I would give nearly all my worldly possessions for one of these Homage to the Square paintings. (Homage! Shu. I would hold them squares down and make out with them they're so hot):




Or one of these: